i hate people

I might not be great at interacting with people. I am pretty good at presenting to people, public speaking and alike. But when it comes to working cheek by jowl with people, sometimes I get frustrated.

I was thinking that perhaps I just don't really like people. I'm just not a 'people' person.

I have been thinking that for a long time.

But there are some people that I like a lot. I am glad to be in their company and well the argument gets shot because I do enjoy interaction.

So why am I getting frustrated sometimes?

While I swear I am not a paid SHILL for the Strategic Coach program, I gotta say that my learning in the program, particularly the session now just past has helped me enormously and in particular with this idea of why many interactions with people are frustrating.

This session focused on identifying one's 'Unique Ability'. What is it that you do that is your 'genius', the thing or things you do that you do better than anyone else, I'll write about this in another post. In the mean time it is suffice to say that to get at your "Unique Ability" you first need to figure out your strengths and weaknesses (among other things).

So they ran us thru a testing protocol at an organization called KOLBE. As usual the web site will describe what they do better than I ever could. So go an have a look.

At the Coach we did the Kolbe "A" test, described as;

"The Kolbe A Index measures a person's instinctive method of operation (MO), and identifies the ways he or she will be most productive. It need only be taken once, since these innate abilities do not change over time."

My score was 6772.

When I reviewed it with my wife Lynn both of us felt it was bang on. I had my son run thru the test and, yup, it was accurate too.

The score suggestions that I am a 'fact finder' - I enjoy gathering and sharing information (no kidding!) It says I am 'systematizer' I like to have a plan and follow it thru. I'm a 'improviser' - I like to get on with things - decide and go. And finally I can visual an outcome and don't require to see a model or mock up before I am comfortable with it - I'm happy imagining.

So that's me, it says so and Lynn back them up.

There is not good score or bad score. Its just a series of measurements on a continuum, like you like to gather facts or you don't. No 'perfect' 10's here.

So that's the back ground. So what?

Well, thinking about getting frustrated with some people, the testing made me realize that most of the time its frustration where one of the measures is out of whack.

For example - I want to get started...I'm a Quick Start "7" while others want to slow it down, take time to consider all the angles and alternatives before moving ahead. It drives me crazy because I have all the information I need to decide and move.

Another example - I want to gather information and put its into a structure before I decide something and I'm not ready yet, while other people think I'm crazy and that I am wasting my time.

Both of these situations are just conflicts in operating styles "MO's".

It's just different. Not stupid, not slow, not reckless, not spiteful (you must think I think terrible things about people....I don't) its just their 'way' of moving forward....and here is the kicker --- its ok.

With this perspective when I butt heads with someone I'm stopping now and saying ok, where are we clashing? How can I get them what they need to move along?

Its a GREAT relief.

I have a framework (I like systems remember?) that I can use to understand where they are coming from.

I don't expect the Catholics are going to want to saint me now, or that the UN will want me as their leader in years to come, but the Kolbe tool and view of MO's really helps me and I'm glad I have it in my quiver.

Drop the $50US and take the test. The review is thorough and it will surprise you how accurately it nails you.